Twenty

The boy said something to his mother and ran off, probably to get cleaned of the spices and dressed. Matthew had moved a bit apart to listen to Jesus speak of the fact that during the coming reign of God, they would have to change their way of thinking; but most of the people were too enthralled by what had happened to listen, and there was hubbub and confusion among them.

"So," thought Thomas, "he actually can raise the dead! Every day he gives more proof that he is what Mary says he is, and still, every day I say he cannot be, it is not possible. And then every day something like this happens!"

Ezra edged up to Thomas, and said, "Did you see that boy look at Matthew? There is something there."

"I did," answered Thomas. "He seemed startled to see him among us."

"Did you get the impression that the surprise was tinged with hate?"

"Oh, come, Ezra; you are reading into things again."

"Oh yes? Well, we will see. If I were Matthew, however, I would not turn my back on that boy. And did you notice his neck?"

"His neck?"

"Bruised, as if by a rope around it. I think I know how he died."

"You mean you think he hanged himself?"

"It is consistent with what the Master said to him--and his reaction to it."

"Ezra, you would make an epic poem out of a falling leaf!" laughed Thomas.

"I only hope it is not to be a tragedy. Attend."

The boy had run back, clean and in new clothes, carrying the cloak that had been loaned to him, while Matthew was speaking to Jesus, saying something about giving a feast. The boy heard him, and said to Jesus, "A feast? Then surely he will need help, Master! Let me go with him; I can do much, and will do it gladly!"

Matthew answered that he would not trouble him, and he replied, "There is no trouble; and besides, I would prefer not to have people gawking at me and me and asking me what it felt like to be dead!"

Matthew accepted his offer, and Jesus stroked his beard, looking at the two of them, and nodded permission. Ezra said to Thomas, "Fascinating," as the two walked off together.

"Well, the Master does not seem to think that Matthew is in any danger, do you not agree?"

"Or that he will weather the storm, whatever it is. Perhaps the boy needs to see Matthew to get over whatever he has against him. After all, he is a new man now, just as we all are."

"You do seem determined to turn it into something that the Romans would be watching in that theater at Caesarea by the Sea."

"I think, if nothing serious occurs, that after a while I will try to get to know this boy, to see if my drama is exaggerated."

Thomas shook his head. Though there was something in the look he first gave Matthew, and he was definitely over-eager to attach himself to the man. Perhaps Ezra had a point.

Neither Matthew nor the boy appeared the next day, evidently busy with preparations for the feast on the morrow. The boy had apparently decided to sleep at Matthew's house. His mother had fretted a bit, but Jesus assured her that he would be perfectly safe with Matthew and his slave. Thomas wondered how safe Matthew was with him, but assumed that he would have heard something if murder had occurred during the night, and decided that Ezra had fired his imagination too much.

And sure enough, when they arrived at the--one could only call it mansion--the next day, there was Matthew, with the boy behind him, both dressed in fine linen, Matthew welcoming them in a kind of embarrassed way, as well as a number of what turned out to be tax-collectors, who Thomas guessed had not spoken twenty words with Matthew previously, judging by the way they looked at the house and the awkward way they greeted him.

It was a fairly tense dinner, in fact, particularly at first, but Nathanael, who knew wines, whispered in Thomas's ear (he was drinking water, of course, and looking on nostalgically) that the vintage was almost up to what Jesus had supplied at the wedding, and that Matthew had diluted it very little, probably to loosen tongues.

And, In fact, they began to speak rather more freely after a short time, and the dinner could be said to be a success. Afterwards, people kept their cups and rose from the table, looking over the house and talking. Suddenly, Jesus let out a piercing whistle and ran out the back, where the dogs (about which the guests had been warned) had been chained. Matthew sprang up and followed.

No one else did so, but stood or sat, frozen for a moment in shock; there was definitely a commotion of some sort back there. Jesus seemed to have shouted a command to one of the dogs, from what Thomas could hear. He could see that Ezra longed to go out, but Matthew stood in the doorway, blocking the exit, as he watched openmouthed what Jesus was doing. Thomas moved to find a window looking out on the back, but Nathanael was blocking that.

Whatever it was did not take long, and Matthew came back inside, followed by Jesus and one of the tax-collectors, whose eyes looked as if he had narrowly escaped death, though there was not a mark on him or his clothes. When asked what had happened, he simply protested that he was fine, but that he thought that he should be getting home. He thanked Matthew perfunctorily, and went out the front, where a crowd had gathered outside the gate, to find out if it were really true that Jesus was consorting with tax-collectors and sinners.

Thomas went up to Nathanael, who had just spoken to Matthew, and asked, "What went on?"

"Matthew asked me not to speak of it, and so I cannot say, but it is probably what you thought it was."

Ezra, who was, as always, present, said, "So he is Master of vicious dogs also."

"He is Master of everything, it seems. Everything," and he added, "Thank God!"

A few days later (the morning of which Thomas said "two months!" to himself), Jesus informed the group that his father had died. He took Simon, James and John, and, interestingly, Matthew, and went to his funeral, leaving Andrew more or less in charge.

Nothing much happened while they were gone, except that Philip came up to Thomas and Ezra, and, looking Ezra straight in the face, asked, "Tell me, Ezra, how does it feel to be black?"

Thomas cringed and turned aside. Ezra, taken aback, paused a minute, then looked straight back into Philip's eyes, and replied, "Normal. How does it feel to you to be white?"

"Well, but everyone is white," said Philip.

"True, around here. But if you were in Ethiopia, where everyone is black, would you feel any different?"

Philip pondered this profundity for a while and said, "I suppose not. I see," and left as abruptly as he had come.

Thomas, who did not know whether to laugh or cry, said to Ezra, "Well, we were warned. That was a brilliant answer, by the way. I am afraid mine would have been with my fist."

"Oh, well, he means no harm; we know that."

"Perhaps not, but he succeeds in inflicting it, nonetheless."

"All of us probably do, more often than we realize."

"All I can say, Ezra, is that I admire your--poise. Your experience as a slave, hateful as it must have been, taught you valuable lessons."

"It did. On the other hand, I would have preferred to be free and ignorant of what I learned. But what is is, and given that I was a slave, it is well that I profited from it."

After Jesus and the others returned, they happened to be in Cana for something-or-other, and a military officer, accompanied, interestingly enough, by the soldier who was with Matthew at the tax-booth, approached Jesus and begged him to go down with him to the city and cure his son, who was very ill and about to die.

"You people!" said Jesus. "Unless you have proof and see miracles, you do not believe!" Jesus had not been performing cures during this period, perhaps out of respect for the memory of his father, but still, to Thomas this sounded rather harsh. Perhaps it was to goad the officer into a real act of faith?

It seemed so. "Master, please!" he said. "Go down before my son dies!"

Jesus looked at him, stroked the beard on his chin, and answered, "You may go. Your son will live."

The man opened his mouth as if to make a protest; but closed it when he looked into Jesus' face, thinking better of it, and turned and left.

The soldier gave a glance back at Matthew, as he pivoted to go.

The next day, he returned alone, finding Jesus, to whom he gave a rather substantial gift from the father, remarking that the father had met a slave on the way home, who told him that the fever had left his son, and he wanted to waste no time in thanking him for restoring him to health. He had himself continued to his house to be with his son. Jesus accepted the gift, and handed it over to Judas for the group.

Thomas thought, "So not only can he cure physical ailments with a touch, and raise the dead, he apparently can effect a cure by simply declaring that it happened, and at a distance at that! Incredible! But not, of course, if he is what Mary said he ia. If."

The soldier, dismissed, then sought out Matthew. They had a rather extended and earnest conversation that Thomas could not overhear. Ezra approached, and was noticed and warned off by the soldier (Matthew had never so much as acknowledged that he existed, for some reason).

"Well, Longinus, I wish you well," said Matthew finally, loud enough so everyone could hear.

"And I you, Levi-Matthew, in your new life," replied the soldier.

"If it lasts."

"Oh, it will. You are hardly a fanatic, but I see the signs."

"Well, we shall see about that also." And the soldier left, humming quietly in his cheerful way.

That night Jesus excused himself from the group and went up to pray on a mountain overlooking the "Sea" of Galilee from the north. The others stayed back halfway up (because on these occasions Jesus wished for privacy), on a kind of saddle that was still rather high. Matthew, Thomas noticed, elected to remain with them and try out how it felt to be camping for the night. This perhaps was one of the "signs" the soldier would have pointed out that Matthew was going to continue with them. Thomas was glad.

David, interestingly, slept beside him that night, saying practically nothing, as was his wont. Ezra of course observed this, and remarked to Thomas that it seemed that Matthew could not move without having David's eyes on him. "He is watching for something-or-other," Ezra told Thomas. "For him to slip somehow? In what? And then what?"

Though the boy always seemed friendly enough. Perhaps there was no hatred there at all, thought Thomas; perhaps it was simply that Matthew was the first person that he noticed on coming back to life, and that Matthew seemed to treat him as a human being and not a curiosity.

In any case, the following morning, shortly after dawn, Jesus came down from the heights, looking refreshed (though some of the students claimed that on nights such as this he prayed the whole time, silently, without sleeping at all). He called over a small group of twelve, Matthew finding to his surprise that he was one of them (though Thomas had expected this, based on what he said earlier about his "nucleus"), and told them that if they were willing, they were to be his emissaries to the various towns of the area.

Thomas was both proud and frightened to be one of the select group. He had apparently not failed his apprenticeship--"so far," he said to himself, with his hand on the bladder, which he still could not imagine himself without.

"It is time," Jesus was saying, "for the good news about the reign of God to spread more rapidly than I can manage by myself. You will represent me, not only by announcing what you have basically heard me say, but also by confirming by signs similar to mine that the world is indeed about to undergo a change. I will begin to spell out rather more explicitly what the reign of God will be like; you will see. I will give you instructions later on about what you are to do."

A number of people of the area knew where the group was, and as was their custom, they began to gather round on the saddle of the hill, bringing their sick and crippled for him to cure--which he did, spending the morning at it.

Around noon, he went back up the mountain a short way, with by now quite a throng of people on the saddle below him, in a kind of natural amphitheater. He stood up and held up his hands to catch their attention and said,

"You have asked about the reign of God and how you are to change your way of thinking. Attend, then: It is a blessing for you to be poor, because then you have God for your king; it is a blessing for you to be hungry now, because then you will have your fill. It is a blessing for you to suffer now, because you will find happiness. It is a blessing for you when people hate you and drive you away, and ostracize you; on the day this happens, leap about for joy, because you have a great reward in heaven; your enemies ancestors did the same to the prophets.

"But it is a curse to be rich, because you have your comfort here now; it is a curse to be full now, because then you will be hungry; it is a curse that you enjoy life now, because then you will suffer; and it is a curse to have everyone speak well of you, because their ancestors praised the false prophets in the same way." He paused to let what he had said sink in.

Thomas noticed with some amusement that Matthew took out some papyrus that he had prepared for note-taking and with a feather and a little inkwell he carried for this purpose, began jotting down notes. "Aha!" thought Thomas. "We will have our scribe, I see."

The people were deadly silent, gaping in astonishment. What could he mean? How could it be a blessing to suffer and a curse to enjoy life? Then they began to buzz. "This is insane!" said one, and another answered, "Then we should cause people to be poor and hungry, and do them a favor? It makes no sense!" Thomas seemed initially inclined to agree. What he was saying was that everything people considered a blessing was really a curse, and vice versa. But why? It sounded as if it was because suffering readied people to think of the Reign of God as the real state of affairs, and prosperity locked them into being contented with the present situation of the world.

Thomas considered his own situation, wondering whether in the Reign of God he would be able to drink without any ill effects, or whether he would simply be free of the urge to drink. He could not imagine either state. But if either of them were true, the Reign could not begin soon enough!

Jesus went on, "You heard it said, 'an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth'; but I tell those of you who can hear it, love your enemies and do good to the ones who hate you; pray for those who threaten you. If someone slaps your cheek, turn the other one for him to slap; if he takes your cloak, give him your tunic as well. Give to everyone who asks, and if someone takes what is yours, do not demand it back. In short, do to everyone else what you would have them do to you."

Another pause. Thomas reflected that if people could not be harmed when God (that is, Jesus) became king, then that sort of thing would not matter. Were they to be getting into practice for it? Was this the "change of the way of thinking"?

"This is not an explanation of the Law," said someone. "This is something he has made up." "Who does he think he is? Another Moses?"said another. The listeners began a lively discussion among themselves at how Jesus was apparently teaching them on his own authority, and not like the Scripture scholars. Some scoffed at it, but other said, "If he does not have God behind him, how can he do what he does? You saw that man simply get up and walk when he merely touched him!"

As if he had heard them, Jesus continued, "Do not think that I have come to do away with the Law and the prophets; I have come to fulfill them, not abolish them. I tell you this: as long as heaven and earth last, not the dot on one i or the cross on one t will be removed from the Law--not until everything is all over. And so if any man sets aside the least command in the Law, he will have the lowest place when God begins his reign, and anyone who keeps the Law and teaches others to do so will rank high God's kingdom. In fact, unless you show that you are better than the Pharisees and Scripture scholars, you will not even enter God's kingdom."

"I am not too certain that I wish to be in such a kingdom," said a man. "We have burdens enough already." Thomas considered this a rather ominous sign. Of course, the man did not understand Jesus--but who did, when it came to that? Thomas himself caught a glimmer of what was going on, because of what Mary had told him; but he obviously had not changed his way of thinking enough so that he could understand what Jesus really meant.

But Jesus continued, "And do not be evaluating others' conduct, or your own conduct will be evaluated. Forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and things will be given to you--good measure, tamped down, and overflowing will be poured into your pocket; because the standard you use for measuring others will be the standard you are measured by. How is it you can see a speck in your brother's eye and not notice the board in your own? You fraud; take the board out of your own eye before you presume to take the speck from your brother's."

"That, at least makes sense," said one. "Treat everyone fairly." "Yes," said another, "but then why not slap the person who has slapped you? That is what is fair to my way of thinking, as well as the other." "It is not the same thing," said the first. "I see no difference," was the answer. What was the difference? wondered Thomas.

He was so lost in thought that he missed some of what Jesus was saying, but he was brought up short by, "Why do you call me 'Master! Master!' and not do what I say? I will tell you what a person who comes to me and listens to what I say and puts it into practice is like: he is like a man who was building a house, and dug deep and laid its foundation on bedrock; and when the flood came, the river burst on that house, and it withstood it, because it was built on rock. But the one who hears me and does not act on it is like a man building his house on sand. The river rose, and the house collapsed into a heap of rubble."

Thomas was willing, he supposed, to put what Jesus said into practice, if he could but understand it. But, aside from his struggle to keep the bladder at his side closed and not to drink from it (which he had now begun to think might actually be possible--at least for today; he did not dare think any farther forward), rejoicing at insults and accepting a second slap in the face was something that Ezra, perhaps, might achieve, but seemed far beyond Thomas. Well, he supposed, he had to trust the Master in all this also.

Jesus, in any case, had finished his speech; and it was evident that by this time the people had had quite enough. Most went away, shaking their heads, all with bewilderment, some with open disbelief, and others with scorn. Even the rest of the twelve "emissaries" were shaken to the core.