Twenty-Seven

They spent a considerable time together, rejoicing in what had just happened. But all of them, especially Nathanael, knew that this was less than half the battle. Curing his mother was child's play in comparison with confronting--and he knew it would be a confrontation--his father. He felt like Daniel about to be thrown to the lions.

Finally, he said, "Well, I must now go see Abba, and try to convince him that you are cured, and that he should welcome you back."

"Do you think that you can do it?" said his mother. "Would it not be better for me to remain here? I would be in peace."

"And alone. That would be dangerous for you; very dangerous. Your curse is very insidious; it will invent all sorts of ways it which it would be 'better' to try 'just a little,' and that is as fatal now as it ever was."

"I can help, Master," said Rachel.

"I know, but since Jesus told me that I should go, then it is probably necessary; and because he told me, that gives me some hope of success. Pray for me."

"We will do," they answered together. "Very hard."

"And if I fail, then you are no worse than you are now; and then, Rachel, you are entrusted with the task of preserving this jewel intact."

"I would do my best," she answered. "But you will not fail."

"I hope not. But Jesus did not guarantee success. But he did say that even the failure will result in what is good. But only if I try. I go. Pray, please."

"We will do so," they answered again.

And he crossed the small stretch of lawn, and knocked on the door. Reuben answered, as usual.

"Master Nathanael!"

"Good afternoon, Reuben. May I speak with my father?"

Reuben hesitated. "I am sorry, Master Nathanael, but he told me never to admit you."

"I was aware of that. What I meant was, is he within? His wife is sober, and the curse of her drink has been removed, and I wish to inform him of that fact."

"In truth?"

"In truth. It was because of Jesus of Nazareth."

"Then it must be true! I have heard much about him."

"I am one of his Emissaries. Now, may I be admitted?"

"He will not be pleased."

Nathanael's heart was beating so hard and so fast, he was afraid it could be heard. But he managed somehow to keep his voice steady. "Pleased or not, he must speak with me."

Reuben looked at him wide-eyed. This was a new Nathanael. Nathanael thought, "How little he knows! I am the same Nathanael as before--almost. Dear Jesus, help me.!Give me the proper words!"

Reuben stepped back as he opened the door. "He is in the study. Perhaps it would be better if you went unannounced." Poor Reuben was trying to lessen--or at least postpone--the blow he knew would fall upon him.

Nathanael took a deep breath as he strode through the rooms of the house to the study in back, looking down the hill he had climbed that morning. His legs felt as they had when he emerged from the boat after that horrible storm, but they somehow managed to hold him up. He remembered what Philip had told him about the demons, "It is but noise."

He opened the door. His father was looking out the window, and did not bother to turn, thinking it was Reuben. "Yes?"

"Abba, I must speak with you."

He wheeled around. "You! I told you I never wished to see you again, unless you had made something of yourself!"

"Well," he answered, his right leg shaking so hard he rejoiced that his father could not see it under his cloak and tunic, "as to that, I have made something of myself. I am an Emissary of Jesus of Nazareth."

"That mountebank! I suppose he wants more money. I gave all that I was going to give--or did Ezra keep it for himself?"

"Ezra is a fine man; you know that. I will not hear him slandered!"

His eyes widened. "Perhaps you have made something of yourself. But what is an Emissary of Jesus doing owning a slave?"

"Ezra has been free for over a year and a half. He and I are friends."

He laughed. "No man is a friend of his slave, even if he has been freed. Is that why you came to me yourself? Because your 'friend' refused? But I still will give you no money."

"I am not asking for money. I have come to tell you what might be good news; but it depends upon you." This was worse than he had thought. But it was what he could have predicted.

"I am not going to become a follower of that fraud! Get it out of your head! Now go!"

"I am not asking you to do so. I have come to tell you that your wife is sober."

"Oh, yes?" he laughed. "Where and when have I heard that before?"

"It is true. The curse of her drink has been removed from her."

"Oh, of a certainty. I have been trying for twenty years to 'remove the curse of her drink,' and finally I found it necessary to remove the real curse: the drinker. At last I have some peace, with the two of you gone."

Nathanael took a deep breath, thinking again "It is but noise." and answered, "Nevertheless, she is now sober as she has not been for years. That is a fact, whether you choose to admit it or not. But--"

"I choose not to admit it."

"It is still a fact. But she is in a fragile state. You know that if she takes one drink, she will be back to where she was this morning before I removed the curse. And I tell you that if you treat her harshly--"

"Harshly! Do you presume to tell me--"

"You will listen! to me for once! She cannot be intimidated or bullied into staying sober, and she need! not be bullied!" He was speaking very fast and shouting, to prevent his father from interrupting. He had to finish this. Sweat broke out on his forehead. "What she needs is to be held and caressed and told how much she is loved--and she needs to be loved unconditionally! To be loved no matter what she does! She must be treated gently and encouraged, not told what her faults are! She knows what her faults are, and telling her only makes her despair!"

"Then I am a miserable excuse for a husband and a father! That is what you are saying?"

"What? You cannot take a dose of your own medicine?"

"What do you mean, you lazy, good-for-nothing?"

Nathanael said calmly, though he thought he might faint, "This is irrelevant. She can remain sober if she is treated gently and encouraged, and loved. I know it. I have seen a drunk with the curse removed who has had nothing but water for a year and a half. She is now as she doubtless was when you married her. You can keep her that way by treating her kindly and not telling her what a poor excuse for a wife she has been. You did not like it when I implied it to you. No one does. And it does no good. I am simply telling you what must be done. And it must!, or she will drink herself to death!--and make no mistake, you will be responsible."

"Reuben! REUBEN!"

"Fear not, I am going. I have done what I could. It is now up to you, God help us!" The thought suddenly occurred to him that he was now stronger than his father, and also than Reuben. What could they do to him? It is but noise. It did not make his heart beat slower.

"Get out of my house! Forever!"

"You cannot give me any command that I will more gladly observe! Farewell!" And he turned and marched out of the room--and as soon as he was out of sight, he collapsed against the wall, shaking uncontrollably and sobbing. Reuben came up to him, and he managed to say, between sobs, "Fear not, Reu--Reuben. Help me out of the--the house into the fresh--fresh air. I nee--need to breathe."

Reuben, without a word, took him under the shoulder and supported him as he walked, or rather quaked, out the door, and took several gasping deep breaths. He sat on a bench and said, "You may go. Thank you, Reuben. I will be fine in a few moments, and then leave. Do not go to him unless he calls you; he is in a foul mood."

Reuben, his eyes wide with terror, went inside and quietly closed the door.

He said to himself, "Well, what happened to you? It was nothing but noise, was it not?"

He remained there he knew not how long, and then whispered, "Master, I tried. Please bring some good out of this disaster." And he slowly got up and walked down the hill again, finally meeting Ezra nearly at nightfall.

Ezra saw his face, and waited for him to speak. They looked at each other without speaking for a while, and finally Nathanael said, "Well, I half succeeded anyway. The curse has been lifted from my mother, and she now appears twenty years younger, and sounds as I have never before heard her.

"I rejoice at it. I have always thought she was a fine woman."

"She is, she is." He sighed. "But--"

"But your father was--difficult."

He laughed. "I think you could say that. I told him what he needed to hear, for her sake, but he merely shouted at me and ordered me away, never to see him again. I cannot imagine any circumstance in which I would wish to see him again. It is horrible to say this, because he is my father. But it is true."

"It may not be as bad as you think, Bartholomew," said Ezra. "He is at heart a good man. Given time, what you say may sink in."

"I wish I could believe that. Well, Jesus did say that if we try and fail, good will come of it. I hope so, for Eema's sake." He looked at Ezra. "I did not know what a wonderful woman she is, Ezra, when she is sober. Beautiful also, in her own way."

"I know. I could see it in her. She was always kind to me."

"Well, let us go. We should be in Jerusalem. This part of my life is over. Thank you for waiting for me."

"It was my pleasure, my friend."

Tears formed in Nathanael's eyes. "Thank you, my friend." And all this time, he had been avoiding Ezra, thinking that he was secretly reproaching him!

Just then Judas, who was walking by, happened to catch sight of them and came up. "Are you going to Jerusalem?" he said to Nathanael. He never acknowledged that Ezra even existed. "I was detained here also. Shall we go together?"

Nathanael looked at him. The last thing he needed at the moment was to take a three-day trip trying to be civil to Judas. But what could he do? "If you like," he said, and they set off together.

"I had some contributors that I had to see, for them to help out in our excursion to Jerusalem; and fortunately I was reasonably successful. Were you here for something similar?"

"No, I--no, it was merely that I wished to see my parents, and--and to say farewell to them."

"Oh? Are you planning to go somewhere?"

"No. No, it is just that when I left earlier, I did not realize that I would be gone so--so constantly, and I--I wished to tell them that--that I was going to be occupied with Jesus from now on."

"I see. He does usurp a great deal of one's time, does he not?"

Nathanael bridled a bit at this, but managed to say in a conversational tone, "I know not that 'usurp' is the proper term."

The situation, Nathanael could not help noticing, was very strange, with Ezra walking with him and apparently not there at all to Judas. Not that Judas openly snubbed him, by looking at him and turning away. He just acted as if he did not see him. Ezra said nothing, and acted, in a sense, as if Judas were not there, looking only at Nathanael and nodding as he spoke, but not acting as if he heard Judas.

Judas smiled. "Forgive me; I meant nothing by it beyond that he tends to keep one occupied."

"He does that," said Nathanael.

"I wonder how he is faring in Jerusalem. He is not--universally admired there."

"Well, he knows what he is doing, as you once said."

"Sometimes I wonder, lately."

They walked on in silence for a while. Finally, Judas said, "I think if we pick up our pace a bit and go to sleep quite late, we might make it to Sychar before morning. We can catch a watch or so of sleep and then continue. I have rather pressing business in Jerusalem, so would you mind?"

"Not at all," said Nathanael, and looked a question at Ezra, who shrugged. They set of at a very brisk walk, which precluded conversation. Judas, it must be said, was in very good physical condition; when Nathanael, and then finally Ezra, were panting, Judas was still breathing almost normally. He had an enigmatic smile on his face.

"This is far enough for tonight," he said finally. "We are fairly near Jacob's Well, and can refresh ourselves there when we awake."

"I have some bread and cheese in my pouch," said Nathanael.

"Very good. And we can refill our canteens at the well. I have something I can lower down."

So they found a place under some low trees and slept.

When Nathanael woke, he found that Judas was already awake, and Ezra gone--he supposed, to the well for water. He felt quite hungry after the previous night's walk, and picked up the pouch by the strap that normally went over his shoulder, and reached in for the bread,

--and felt something furry.

"Aiee!" he screamed, jerking his hand out as if it had been burned, and dropped the pouch. It fell on the ground at his feet, and the flap covering it flopped open.

And a huge black spider crawled out.

Nathanael sprang backward, screaming uncontrollably, pointing at the thing. Judas looked on with amusement. "It--it--it--" he kept saying, as the creature looked up at him with its eyes on stalks, decided that he was not something it wished to eat, and then turned and dashed away under a rock several cubits distant.

Nathanael looked down at the pouch, afraid to go near it lest there be another horrible thing there. He was now making grunting inarticulate noises that he could not control. He wanted to run, but was afraid to do so lest he step on something.

Finally, Judas came up, picked up the pouch and dumped it out onto the ground. There was nothing inside but the bread and food and a knife Nathanael used for eating.

"It must have crawled in during the night," he said. Nathanael shuddered. How could he touch that pouch again? Judas went on, "But there is nothing to fear. Tarantulas rarely bite, and their bites are not fatal--generally. They are quite painful, they tell me, but the pain of the nails on a cross is much, much worse."

"What do you mean?" snapped Nathanael.

"You do not expect Jesus to be crucified alone, do you? But I really must be going. As I said, I have pressing business in Jerusalem, and last night we traveled a bit slow for my taste. I will see you there, doubtless." And he left, almost at a trot.

Nathanael was shaking so badly, he could not stand. He sat on the dirt next to the pouch, staring at it, making the noise that is usually written "Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!" and kept wiping off the hand that had touched the spider. He pulled up his knees and wrapped his arms around them, keening in horror.