Nine

That night Jesus excused himself from the group and went up to pray on a mountain overlooking the "Sea" of Galilee from the north. The rest of us, now including Matthew, of course, stayed back halfway up (because on these occasions Jesus wished for privacy), on a kind of saddle that was still rather high. David, interestingly, slept beside Matthew that night, saying practically nothing, as was his wont. But he was clearly keeping an eye on him; but it was as if he were waiting for something--some slip on Matthew's part--that he could take advantage of. I could have told him it would not happen, because Jesus would not allow it--but he did not see fit to ask me.

The following morning, shortly after dawn, Jesus came down from the heights, looking refreshed. He called over a small group of twelve, Matthew finding to his surprise that he was one of them (though I was certain he would be there) and told us that if we were willing, they were to be his emissaries to the various towns of the area.

This, then, was the formal announcement that I had been anticipating, in which I would be paired formally with Simon the Revolutionary. Oh, well.

"It is time," Jesus was saying, "for the good news about the reign of God to spread more rapidly than I can manage by myself. You will represent me, not only by announcing what you have basically heard me say, but also by confirming by signs similar to mine that the world is indeed about to undergo a change. I will begin to spell out rather more explicitly what the reign of God will be like; you will see. I will give you instructions later on about what you are to do."

It would certainly be helpful to know what it was that we were to announce. So far, it had only been the abstract "reign of God," and would be "different." One wonders whether Jesus really had an idea about it himself.

A number of people of the area knew where we were, and as was their custom, they began to gather round on the saddle of the hill, bringing their sick and crippled for him to cure--which he did, spending the morning at it.

Around noon, he went back up the mountain a short way, with by now quite a throng of people on the saddle below him, in a kind of natural amphitheater. He stood up and held up his hands to catch their attention and said,

"You have asked about the reign of God and how you are to change your way of thinking. Attend, then: It is a blessing for you to be poor, because then you have God for your king;

"To be poor?" said someone near by me. "I am poor, and it is anything but a blessing!" "Silence! We cannot hear!""

"--hungry now, because then you will have your fill. It is a blessing for you to suffer now, because you will find happiness. It is a blessing for you when people hate you and drive you away, and ostracize you; on the day this happens, leap about for joy, because you have a great reward in heaven; your enemies' ancestors did the same to the prophets.

"This is insane!" "It is mad!" "He has a devil!"Then how can he cure everyone?" "Be quiet!"

"--comfort here now; it is a curse to be full now, because then you will be hungry; it is a curse that you enjoy life now, because then you will suffer; and it is a curse to have everyone speak well of you, because their ancestors praised the false prophets in the same way." He paused to let what he had said sink in.

So all the things we think are blessings are curses, and all those we think are curses are in fact blessings. We certainly do have to change our thinking. What could he possibly mean?

Presumably because--because why? Because when the Reign of God was instituted, these things would be reversed; he had all but said as much. So be glad when you suffer now, in anticipation of a happiness far beyond what you could dream. It did sound as if the Reign of God would involve a restoration of the condition of the world before Adam ruined it with his sin: no suffering, no death.

But wait. Those who were enjoying themselves now would suffer. Would they be excluded from the Reign of God? It sounded so. He did talk as though sinners would be punished in the Reign of God, and perhaps more immediately and visibly than now. The problem with sin now is that it did not receive any obvious punishment, or virtue receive its clear reward, as the Book of Job and certain psalms pointed out.

True, the Book of Wisdom said that the virtuous who suffered were happier in their disembodied state than they could have been on earth, and presumably the reverse happened to those who had sinned.

This seemed to mean that the justice meted out in the Reign of God was to be on this earth and visible.

The people, of course, were gasping with astonishment. What could he mean? How could it be a blessing to suffer and a curse to enjoy life? Someone near John said, "Then we should cause people to be poor and hungry, and do them a favor? It makes no sense!"

Jesus went on, "You heard it said, 'an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth'; but I tell those of you who can hear it, love your enemies and do good to the ones who hate you; pray for those who threaten you. If someone slaps your cheek, turn the other one for him to slap; if he takes your cloak, give him your tunic as well. Give to everyone who asks, and if someone takes what is yours, do not demand it back. In short, do to everyone else what you would have them do to you."

Clearly what that meant is that one should not pay attention to what happens to himself now before the Reign of God. Any injury or slight would be more than made up once it began.

But many of the the people were saying,"This is even worse!" Others said, "This is not an explanation of the Law; it is something he has made up." "Who does he think he is? Another Moses?"said another. The listeners began a lively--and loud--discussion among themselves at how Jesus was apparently teaching them on his own authority, and not like the Scripture scholars. Some scoffed at it, but others said, "But I repeat: If he does not have God behind him, how can he do what he does? You saw that man simply get up and walk when he merely touched him!"

Jesus obviously had some kind of vision of the future when he would be King, and it made sense to him; but it required a complete change of thinking for it to make sense to anyone else.

He had paused for them to get some of their reactions out of their system, and then went on, "Do not think that I have come to do away with the Law and the prophets; I have come to fulfill them, not abolish them. I tell you this: as long as heaven and earth last, not the dot on one i or the cross on one t will be removed from the Law--not until everything is all over. And so if any man sets aside the least command in the Law, he will have the lowest place when God begins his reign, and anyone who keeps the Law and teaches others to do so will rank high God's kingdom. In fact, unless you show that you are better than the Pharisees and Scripture scholars, you will not even enter God's kingdom."

In one sense, this would placate the Pharisees, because one would have to obey them, but in another sense, it was sure to infuriate them, because it implied that one would have to surpass them in virtue, and they considered that impossible.

"I am not too certain," said one man, "that I wish to be in such a kingdom, We have burdens enough already." But Jesus kept on, "And do not be evaluating others' conduct, or your own conduct will be evaluated. Forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and things will be given to you--good measure, tamped down, and overflowing will be poured into your pocket; because the standard you use for measuring others will be the standard you are measured by.

"That, at least makes sense," said one. "Treat everyone fairly." "Yes," said another, "but then why not slap the person who has slapped you? That is what is fair to my way of thinking, as well as the other." "It is not the same thing," said the first. "I see no difference," was the answer.

It makes a difference, I thought, if one has no interest in oneself. The secret here seemed to be "forget yourself." And that made sense. If the One created us gratuitously, It did so with no self-interest; and we were to imitate It--and presumably if we did so, we would share in Its happiness, whatever that meant. Some of the Indian sages had said as much.

"Can the blind be guides for the blind? Will they not both fall into the ditch? A student is not above his teacher; at best, when a student finishes, he will be equal to his teacher."

"I am not certain," said one, "that I wish to be a student of this teacher. 'Turn your other cheek to be slapped' indeed! Not my cheek. My fist, perhaps!"

"How is it you can see a speck in your brother's eye and not notice the board in your own? You fraud; take the board out of your own eye before you presume to take the speck from your brother's."

"And you do the same," shouted someone. "Are you perfect? Who do you think you are?" If you only knew, I thought. If you knew the Force that was coursing through his veins. But you must be willing to change your thinking.

Jesus was going on, though the crowd was becoming louder and louder; interestingly, though, his voice rose above it. "--call me 'Master! Master!' and not do what I say? I will tell you what a person who comes to me and listens to what I say and puts it into practice is like: he is like a man who was building a house, and dug deep and laid its foundation on bedrock; and when the flood came, the river burst on that house, and it withstood it, because it was built on rock. But the one who hears me and does not act on it is like a man building his house on sand. The river rose, and the house collapsed into a heap of rubble."

That seemed to be the end. Basically, then, he was saying, "You must conform your thoughts to "those" of the One, and to love--that is, have no self-interest--and you will escape the calamities and changes of this world to a life of peace and serenity. The Indian sages had been preaching this, and Plotinus had adapted Greek philosophy to it; and now Jesus was saying that the God the Hebrews believed in--the only God--intended the same thing, except that in the Reign of God it would be manifested on earth, instead of its opposite being so. There would be a time of joy and peace--for those willing to accept it.

Yes, it made sense. Jesus had but enunciated the truths that others had struggled to achieve for centuries now; and his task was to put them into practice on this earth. And I, who understood this, could help him--if I could keep him from going insane and thinking that he was God, instead of the instrument by which God did "his" work.

Jesus in the next few days began giving us instructions on how to behave as his "emissaries," and what to do if people rejected our preaching. But it seemed that we were also to have the miraculous powers--at least some of them--that Jesus had, and this was a terrifying prospect. It was extremely exciting, in one sense; I found the prospect of driving a demon out of a man supremely satisfying; but it entailed a good deal of responsibility. Demons were more powerful than humans, and one had to be careful that they did not leave the victim and enter oneself. Of course, in that respect, I had little to fear, since I had a good deal of control of myself. But some of the others were in severe danger. Well, but Jesus would be watching over them, even from a distance. All would be well.

And shortly afterwards, we began our mission, in which I had the added task of not only explaining in simple terms the profound insights of Jesus and his vision of the future, but of countering the revolutionary rhetoric of Simon. It was a supreme chore for me, because Simon was busy trying to convert what I said into something political, while I was trying just as hard to convert what he said into some semblance of what the real situation was. He definitely was not happy, nor was I. Frankly, I do not think our mission ever succeeded; the people left us, scratching their heads.

But then, Jesus had to have expected that some of these missions he sent out would be failures, which he would have to rescue; and so I decided not to worry, and simply tried to minimize the damage that Simon was doing. In any case, the Force reforming the universe would not be thwarted by the likes of us, especially since we were trying to do Its work. It could turn our disasters into victories.

One day, before we set out, the whole group was together, when a young man, dressed in even finer linen than Nathanael was accustomed to wearing (and which he still wore, though now it was not so well kept), understated in only the way that those accustomed to great wealth could do, came up and knelt before Jesus. "Good teacher," he said, "What should I do to gain eternal life?"

"Why are you calling me 'good'?" said Jesus. "No one is good except the one God." Interesting, this. It implied that he recognized after all that he was not actually the Force that was acting in him.

Jesus was continuing, "--keep the commandments: You are not to kill, you are not to commit adultery, you are not to testify falsely, you are not to defraud; honor your father and mother."

The boy answered, "Teacher, I have done all this from the time I was very young."

Jesus now looked fondly at him, and said, "Then there is one thing left for you to do. If you want to be perfect, then go, sell what you have and give the money to the poor, and this will open for you an account in heaven's bank; and then come and follow me."

Matthew reacted with shock at this. Evidently, he had the idea that he could not be a true follower unless he got rid of his wealth.

The boy's face also fell. He looked down at his clothes, and surveyed the others around Jesus (even Matthew had taken to wearing quite ordinary clothing, not to stand out), and after a long pause, turned and walked off.

Jesus gazed after him, wistfully, and said, "How hard it is for a rich man to put himself under God's rule! It is harder for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to subject himself to God!"

Matthew gasped--and Thomas's hand went to the wineskin he had hidden, which everyone knew about. Another application. Could he give it up?

Andrew's brother Simon blurted, "But then who can be saved?"

"With men, it is impossible," answered Jesus. "But everything is possible with God." Thomas looked relieved to some extent, but Matthew was still struggling to come to a decision.

Simon replied, "Yes it is! Look at us! We have left everything and followed you!"

"Amen I tell you," said Jesus, "That those of you who have followed me, when everything is reborn, when the Son of Man assumes the throne of his glory, will yourselves be seated on twelve thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel! And everyone who has left his house or his brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or property for my sake will receive a hundred times as much in this age--along with persecution--and in the next age will enjoy eternal life! And yet" he added, looking around, "many of those who are now in the first place will be last, and many of the last will be first."

Now it was Thomas who looked worried, and Matthew, who had a look of resignation--fear, but resignation. He went up to Jesus shortly afterward, and after a short conversation, left the group.

I myself was a bit disconcerted for a time, since I had charge by now of a good deal of wealth. Of course, it was not mine, but that of the group. And he did say that those who had given up wealth, as I had (all my wealth was in the common pool) would receive a hundred times as much. And that was true in my case. I had nothing to concern myself with. If we wished some luxury, then we could have it as our reward for not claiming ownership of it. That was well. I thought it a good thing for me to have clothes that would allow me to move in the circles of the wealthy, so that they would be disposed to give us more, and not treat us like beggars.

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