Ten

We headed north, for some reason, toward Philip's Caesarea (as distinguished from the Caesarea on the coast of the Mediterranean Sea, where Herod had his palace, and where Pontius Pilate lived when he was not in Jerusalem in that fortress they called the "Antonia."). As we walked along, Jesus asked, as if casually, "Tell me; who do people say that I am?"

We had all heard much in our missions, and so some answered, "A prophet," others, "The prophet foretold by Scripture," and of course others, "The Prince."

"And who do you say that I am?" asked Jesus, looking at us intently, each in turn, as if the answer would be crucial. At this Andrew's brother Simon blurted, "The Prince, the Son of the living God!"

Everyone was taken aback, not least Jesus. It was apparently the answer he was waiting for, but the source seemed to surprise him. He stroked his beard, and said, "Good for you, Simon Bar-Jona! Flesh and blood have not revealed this to you;

it was my heavenly Father!"

That was a development! One of the last I would have expected to come anywhere near the correct answer--or at least, the answer that Jesus was apparently waiting for. And apparently the Force within him accepted it, so there was some interpretation of it that was true and made sense.

I myself, however, was in considerable difficulty making sense of it. He seemed to be saying that Jesus was--the Prince, surely, but everyone knew that--and the Son of the Living God. True, the thunder had called him "the Son I love," but I took it that the words meant that what he said was inspired by the Force that created the universe.

There were two possibilities here, as I saw it. Either the "Son" was meant in the same sense that the thunder meant: an intimate union between the Agent and the Vehicle through which It acted, or Jesus was beginning to think of himself as a kind of Son, a kind of God from God, imagining God as a sort of super-person, but basically the same as our own personhood, and someone who could have a Son, presumably by making his mother pregnant.

That was insanity, and must not be allowed to develop! It made YHWH little more than Jupiter, and would be instantly repudiated by all the Pharisees to a man, not to mention myself. It was absurd.

But there was more. Jesus was saying, "--are Rock, and on this rock I will build my community! And the gates of the world below will not close down upon it! And I will give you the keys of the Kingdom of God, and whatever you lock on earth will be locked in heaven, and whatever you unlock on earth will be unlocked in heaven!"

Another amazing statement. Simon, of all people, who simply happened to stumble upon a formulation that Jesus found acceptable. That dolt! And Jesus at first was surprised by it, as if he had expected someone more intelligent--like me, for instance--to be the spokesman.

He then warned everyone not--yet--to reveal that he was the Prince.

James whispered to John, "We need not do so; everyone who has a brain knows already."

"Yes, but not that he is the Son of the living God--at least not in the sense that he means it."

"Ah, you think that more preparation is needed to show what that really means."

"I think a great deal more preparation is needed. But what is this?"

There was even more! Jesus was saying "Be aware that the Son of Man must one day go to Jerusalem and suffer a great deal there at the hands of the priests and Scripture scholars, and be put to death, but will come to life on the third day afterwards."

So he was explicitly saying that he would be killed! And there was the 'third day' again! It sounded very much as if--with this particular choice of the "Rock," he foresaw that he would not be able to assuage the authorities and would be killed. And we now saw what was meant by "the third day." He explicitly said that he would come back to life on the third day, as he had hinted in his joking way to Matthew who "came to life" on the third day, and seriously about himself when he said "after three days I will rebuild it." His "plan"--or rather, the plan of the Force that guided and directed him--was becoming clearer, and it looked, more tragic.

He could bring himself back to life "on the third day" (that is, after his death had become definite and not simply a coma) if he were God the Son who was one and the same as the Father. But if he were--was--the Son in the sense of the instrument by whom the Father (to use his term) acted, then he was still in himself a mere human, and death would be final.

Yes, he was gradually going insane. It had not yet reached the point at which he said, "The Father and I are one and the same thing," but if he was not corrected, it would, and that would be a calamity for the whole world. A calamity that I alone could see, and therefore I alone could stop.

Well, the Force that created him also created me, and gave me the insight to see what was happening. And so It would have to give me also inspirations analogous to his, so that I could check his excesses without destroying either him or myself.

And, indeed, I did feel inspirations every now and then, some of which I acted upon, such as the inspiration to make myself a follower of his, and many which I did not. I would have to be more attentive in the future.

During all this time, everyone was in shock. But the newly-named "Rock," feeling his authority, went up to him and said, "God forbid, Master! This will never happen to you!"

Jesus turned to him and said, "Get behind me, Satan! You are an obstacle in my path! You think as men do, not as God thinks!"

The Rock moved to the back of the group, and if ever a man had his tail between his legs, he had.

Everyone else was struck dumb. No one could make sense of the whole incident. It could not mean what it sounded as if it meant, they were thinking.

But it did. It tragically did.

And not only for him. I happened to hear part of a conversation between John and his brother James. John, who had a head on his shoulders, was saying to something James had said, "You have no idea, I think. But we should leave that to him. He seems to be going about it gradually, and as events unfold, it will become clearer. (That was what I was worried about.) It is incredible, if we are right; I still cannot really--I do not wish to say 'believe' it, because I believe it and I do not believe it. It seems impossible, and yet who are we to say what the Infinite God cannot do?"

"You mean that you think that he is God? The infinite God, who has a name we dare not pronounce?"

"He told me as much in the beginning, James, when he also told me things he could not have known otherwise."

"I know that he is far greater than any prophet, even Moses. Moses never said anything on his own authority, as he did on the mountain there. 'You have heard it said,' as it was in the Law, 'but I tell you.' Remember that?"

"Indeed I do. I think it is because the whole world is going to be transformed into what Isaiah predicted."

"And you believe that that was not simply poetry?"

"Put it this way: I would not be surprised if it were not."

"You are talking about a new creation!"

"Well, what are we witnessing? Look at what we ourselves can do!"

"You know, you have been making explicit things that have been in the back of my mind that I have not dared really think upon. There is so much I dare not think upon!"

"I imagine all of us will be forced to do so--and soon, if things progress as they have been. But I really wish that it had been Andrew who had said what the Rock said! But, as I know from my own case, and can guess from what I know of others--Thomas, for instance--he does not choose people on the basis of their qualifications, but as we have discussed, on their needs. He can do anything with anybody."

"I fondly hope so," said James. "You have no idea how much I hope so!" John looked at him. Was he referring to Simon only, or was there some reference also to himself?

John answered, "If he can bring the dead back to life, then I suppose he can make Simon into a Rock to build his community upon. One would never have been able to imagine it, but presumably he created Simon in the first place."

"He what?"

"This is one of the implications Andrew and I have been toying with."

"Good heavens!" He was silent at the implication that Jesus in a sense existed before Simon (who was a year older than he), and actually caused Simon to exist. Finally, he said, "Then it is certainly true that much more preparation is required!"

"Well, we shall see. Perhaps one day he will even explicitly say that he was in existence before he was born. That will establish that Andrew and I were on the right track."

Or, I thought, it would establish that he was mad.

I tentatively approached Jesus that afternoon. "Master," I said, "several of your followers are concerned--they are all concerned, but with different things--but several of them are interpreting what you say as if you are saying more than that God is in you and working in and through you, but that you are God."

He answered, "And?"

"And," I answered, taken aback, but being more convinced that he himself believed that he was God, "do you not think that words of clarification, or of qualification, might be in order--to us, at least, so that we do not get the incorrect idea?"

"Judas," he said, "anyone who wishes to be a follower of mine must learn to make a complete change in his way of thinking. Anyone. They are trying. Let them try."

I paused a bit, looking at someone who was on the verge of being insane. What could I say? "Whatever you say, Master," I answered. "I simply thought I should bring it up."

He looked at me and said, "Anyone," and turned away.

Of course, what he evidently meant was that I, as well as the others, had to accustom myself to regarding him as the Infinite God "finitizing" himself somehow. But that was absurd. I could not do it, because it could not be done.

And he had to know this; he could read minds. He had to realize that I, at least, not only would not, but could not change my way of thinking, if this was what it meant. And what that meant was that he and I would likely be enemies.

What a tragedy! Would I have to give him up?

That evening, Matthew came back. David immediately ran up to him and asked something--and, of course Ezra was nearby, unnoticed by anyone--except John, and apparently Thomas. John tried to imitate him by remaining absolutely motionless when he wandered over to Thomas afterwards. I did the same.

"What was that all about?" asked Thomas.

"Interesting," said Ezra. "David--he and I are beginning to become friends, by the way--asked if he were-- whether he had been successful in whatever it was he was doing. 'I know not whether to call it "successful," David,' he answered. 'I am poor now, you see.'

"David, amazed, and, I think, disappointed, said, 'Poor?' And he answered, 'I gave my house to Gideon and gave him his freedom; and the money I had hoarded I asked him to distribute among the farmers and people I had defrauded--because, frankly, I could not bring myself to do it; I could not bear to see myself parting with all that wealth. He is going to keep back enough to live on, but all the rest is going to be given away--except for this, which is for all of us.' And he showed him a heavy sack he was carrying under his cloak.

Exactly what I had expected. It confirmed that it was good for me to be the treasurer and not Matthew, because the temptation of all that money would be too much for him to bear. I, on the other hand, had no interest in money, and so had nothing to worry about on that score.

But Ezra went on, "The intriguing thing was that David took this as if it were a blow. He looked at Matthew with a very strange expression. Matthew said, 'Be of good cheer, David, as I am trying to be, and trust in the Master. I must do so now, it seems.'

"And David answered, 'I--know not what to say.' It looked as if the purpose of his life had been thwarted, somehow. Was he plotting to steal what Matthew had? Fascinating."

"So now we have a poor Matthew, and Simon who is the 'rock.' said Thomas. He paused.

"Of all people!" he went on, and John, moving, joined them, nodding to him in welcome. "I would have thought it would be Andrew or Judas, but Simon!"

"I wondered what he meant back there with John," put in John, obviously referring to the John who had been bathing the people--who by this time had been beheaded by Herod.

"What was this?" asked Matthew.

"You know that John bathed the Master also?"

"Actually, I do know that," said Matthew, and both John and Thomas looked at him. John had not seen him there. But of course, he would not have recognized him in the crowd; he had never met him.

"Well," John went on, "Andrew and I had followed him after John bathed him, and Andrew went to find Simon, and when the Master saw Simon coming, he said to him, 'You are Simon, son of John. You will be called Kephas.' None of us knew what to make of it. Why say that a man was going to be called 'Rock'? Well, now we know."

"We do?"

John looked at him, incredulous, and then said, "Oh, of a certainty, you were not with us today. And he explained what went on, with Thomas interjecting a remark here and there.

"But then," said John, "he said, 'But who do you say that I am,' and Simon blurted out, as he is wont to do, 'You are the Prince, the Son of the Living God.'

"You see?," said Thomas. "But who would have thought that Simon could do logic?"

"--And the Master looked surprised, and stroked his beard as he does, and said, 'Good for you, Simon, son of John! Flesh and blood have not revealed this to you; it was my heavenly Father!' And then he said, 'And I now say to you that you are Rock, and on this rock I will build my community; and the gates of the land of the dead will not be strong enough to close down over it!'"

"Simon!" said Matthew. "Who would have imagined it?"

"Oh, Simon might have done," returned Thomas. "He is not given to fits of humility--but there I go being unkind again. But you should have seen Andrew's face! Well, I must not compound the unkindness. But the interesting thing is that the Master seemed a bit taken aback himself at first."

"Still," said John, "there was that prediction that he would be called the 'Rock.'"

"Well, yes," answered Thomas. "But you saw him. He was not expecting this from Simon. Perhaps at the beginning, he knew that there was to be something 'rocky' about him, if I may so speak, but did not know that it meant that he would be the leader of us all."

"Well, now," interjected Matthew, "just saying what he said did not necessarily mean that he would be over us, did it?"

"Oh, yes," said Thomas, "it was quite clear. John did not finish. He went on to say, 'And I will give you the keys of the Kingdom of Heaven, and whatever you lock on earth will be locked in heaven'--whatever that meant--'and whatever you unlock on earth will be unlocked in heaven.'"

"And he used the singular? He was not referring to all of us?"

"He did," said John. "None of us can understand what he meant--except that it has something to do with the Reign of God that he is always speaking of. What I found interesting is that he agreed with Simon, because he said that the one who revealed it was 'my Father in heaven.'"

"Ah, that is his way of speaking," said Thomas; "I would not make too much of it." As I heard, I wished that I did not make too much of it, but I feared it was ominous.

Thomas said, "It seems as if this Reign of God is to last forever, and somehow the Rock, as I suppose we should begin calling him, is going to have some kind of authority over us--second to the Master, of course. Perhaps when the Master is away, or something, as Andrew was wont to do--and I think Andrew caught the implication, and was not overfond of it. That was what I was alluding to. I must confess that I myself do not relish the prospect."

"But what do you think about this locking and unlocking?" asked Matthew.

"I have no idea," said John, "unless it means that when the Rock (what an odd term) issues a command--" "God save us!" said Thomas.

"--heaven somehow sanctions it."

"From the little I know of him, that is a rather frightening thing to contemplate," remarked Matthew.

"True, he is given to impulses," said Thomas. "And yet, what else could it mean? Unless there is something deeper here, which we have not yet been vouchsafed the key to, if I may continue with the metaphor--if it is a metaphor. I understand less and less as the days go on."

"What does Judas say about it?"

"Oh, he took it all in, and looked wise and pensive," answered Thomas. "He would do, of course. He cultivates the air that nothing surprises him. But I suspect he is as bewildered as the rest of us." Not quite, I thought. But much more disturbed.

It looked as if the capture and death were about to be brought up, but it seemed to be something no one wanted to think about, Instead, John mentioned something he just remembered, which had been put out of his mind by all the events, "Oh, incidentally, we are to go to Judea tomorrow, for the festival."

"Ah yes," said Thomas. "All the excitement over this had driven it out of my head."

Next