The Christian homosexual

How can there be such a thing as a Christian homosexual? There is no way to practice homosexual sex in a Christian way; but there are plenty of homosexuals who are Christians. The fact that homosexual sex is a sin is apt to give people the idea that "don't do it, and fight against the tendency to do it" is all that needs to be said. It's just a bad habit, after all, like any other.

This is the attitude above: that Christianity is a vehicle for achieving moral virtue. And it is only the heterosexual, perhaps, who can make the statement that ends the preceding paragraph. Any homosexual, from all the evidence, knows that it is not a bad habit like any other; it is an ingrained disposition that in all probability has been resisted with greater or lesser success for years and years (whether it was originally innate or acquired somehow) and instead of getting less, remains basically the same. Even those who do not think that there is anything morally wrong with homosexual sex do not set out to become homosexuals with the idea that being a homosexual is a desirable condition; if anything, there is too much social stigma attached to it. Anyone who finds himself homosexual has got that way at least to some extent in spite of himself.

The Christian is one who accepts reality for what it is. And the Christian who is homosexual is one who accepts his reality for what it really is: not a moral horror, not a "perversion" (except in a certain sense), not a mental disease, but a spiritual handicap.

What is a handicap? A handicap is something about a person that makes it difficult or impossible for him to do what normal people have no trouble doing. Physical handicaps like blindness cut people off from a wide range of activities; mental handicaps like retardation cut those handicapped off from many activities that require complex reasoning or concentration.

Spiritual handicaps are tendencies toward acts that involve a contradiction with some aspect of one's nature. For instance, alcoholism is a spiritual handicap: the alcoholic cannot drink without drinking himself into a condition where he can act but can't control his actions--without getting drunk, which is a contradiction.

The homosexual, as I mentioned in the section on sexual ethics, cannot fulfill himself emotionally without contradicting the reproductive aspect of his sexuality.

Hence, the homosexual has to recognize that he is not in a position where he can completely fulfill himself emotionally. If he is "bisexual" and can have sexual intercourse to orgasm with one of the opposite sex, he can fulfill himself sexually--but this does not fulfill him emotionally. If he does not have sex with anyone, then this aspect of his sex drive is not fulfilled, even if he has friends who are homosexual, and even if he touches them and so on, without going on to actual sexual activity.

The homosexual can, however, achieve partial fulfillment of himself; and the attitude that you have to "fight against it" implies that being homosexual is itself evil, somehow, if not sinful, and is not simply a handicap that one has to be careful about--more or less as the alcoholic has to be careful around liquor that he doesn't take the first drink. But just as the alcoholic doesn't have to shun liquor "in case he might lose control" if he has no reason to believe he will lose control, and just as the heterosexual does not have to shun women as a "danger to salvation" because he might lose control if he touched one, so the homosexual does not have to fight his nature and its tendencies just because his nature (whether innate or second nature) is defective.

The refusal to accept oneself as homosexual (because it is somehow "evil" in itself) has led to an enormous amount of misery among a large part of the population (ten percent of which, they say, is homosexual). It is certainly not desirable to be homosexual, any more than it is desirable to be blind. But the blind person works at learning to accept himself as blind and learn what he can do as blind, not what he can't do.

Unfortunately, there exist only two sorts of counseling given to homosexuals now: (a) concentrate upon what you can't do and devote your life to avoiding it or (b) accept yourself as homosexual and so fulfill your emotional urges sexually. Both are false and in fact anti-Christian, because neither accepts the world as God accepts it: for what it really is.

The homosexual is homosexual, as the blind man is blind; and he can accept himself as such and know what activities are open to him, and what are the limits to what he can morally do. He can perform the acts that are not self-contradictory without cringing that he is being "queer" when he holds hands, say, with another man, or even embraces one. This is a way homosexuals can express affection for one another; and if they have this affection, and if there is nothing morally wrong with expressing it this way, why shouldn't they? True, it is a danger; but so is a heterosexual's holding hands with a woman.

Now of course, the homosexual expression of affection can't lead anywhere (except to friendship), and the heterosexual's can lead to sexual fulfillment in the full sense. This is the handicap.

The homosexual can legitimately marry one of the opposite sex and have sex with her. But both parties to this arrangement must be clearly aware that this is a marriage with a spiritually handicapped person. As I mentioned above, no one should marry a homosexual with the idea that the handicap will be overcome by the loving heterosexual relationship.

It will not. This must be accepted. It will not. A homosexual might be able to become heterosexual, but this will not simply be by entering into a loving heterosexual relationship. It involves therapy of the wisest sort, and there are precious few therapists nowadays who are willing to do anything other than advise homosexuals to go ahead with homosexual sex and suppress any guilt feelings about it.

Granted, miracles happen; but miracles must not be counted on. A person who marries a homosexual must accept that the homosexual will not be able to be satisfied sexually by her, and probably will not be able to satisfy her sexually. Further, the homosexual will always be attracted sexually to others of the same sex, and will need to express his affection for them--and this is a need, and a need that cannot be satisfied by the heterosexual relationship he has with his wife. Heterosexual sex for the homosexual is emotionally unnatural (though even for him it is not self-contradictory and so not morally wrong); it would be like homosexual sex for a heterosexual. Hence, the act of sexual intercourse for the homosexual will be dissatisfying and will perhaps only give fire to his homosexual attraction.

The married homosexual is handicapped in his marriage; and his wife (or husband, of course, if it is a lesbian) is married to a handicapped person.

Now there is nothing wrong with a person's marrying a blind person, and putting up with the handicap. So there is nothing wrong with a person's marrying a homosexual; but the Christian spouse of a homosexual will accept the situation (which she will not be able to understand), and will adapt to it.

And, of course, since the sexual urge is so strong, then the homosexual is apt to sin, particularly if he is not constantly fighting his tendency. Again, the danger of this, and the danger of sexual unfaithfulness if he is married, is not a reason why he must make himself miserable and avoid what is legitimate; Christianity is not a means toward moral virtue.

And if he sins, then he does what any sinner does; repents and forgets it, and gets up and shoulders his cross again. His Christian spouse, recognizing his handicap, is not devastated by this unfaithfulness, because her spouse is handicapped, and she accepts him as such. This is not to condone the act; but, like the stumblings of a blind man, it is something to be loved, not something to be condemned.

Homosexuals get very little help in this world, and there doesn't seem to be anywhere to turn, either in this one or the next, if the homosexual is not to turn to those who do not think that there is anything wrong with homosexual sex.

Therefore, I want it to be known that when I die, and the miracle occurs that I am with my Master and able to do what I want for the world, then I will be available on the other side of the grave to any homosexual who is having difficulty with his homosexual problem. Ask me then, and I will do whatever I can for you; and I will be in a position to do much, thank God.