Twenty-Six

On their way back to Galilee, they passed through Sychar once again, and the people welcomed Jesus, though he did not stay with them.

When they reached Mount Tabor, Jesus told them to wait at the foot, and climbed the mountain himself with the Rock, James, and John.

It was a long climb, the highest mountain in this vicinity; they were all rather winded as they reached the top, and sat down on some rocks there to rest. Jesus went on ahead.

And suddenly, he became light.

He rivaled the sun, and his clothes were gleaming, far outdoing the togas of the Romans, who took immense pains with soap full of lye to whiten them. John remembered they called themselves "candidati," which meant "gleaming white" in Latin, and thought they had no idea what a "candidatus" really was.

His mind, he realized, was gibbering, he was so stunned by the appearance. Obviously, this overwhelming sight was a visual impression of what "The Father and I are one and the same thing" meant. Of course, God was really beyond visibility; so bright, if you will, that he could not be seen, just as John had heard that there were sounds so high that humans could not hear them, though animals could. But for some reason, Jesus wished to reinforce the notion that he was far, far more than merely human.

Then two others, also radiant, but not quite so brilliant, joined him in conversation--and in the course of it, John heard the names "Moses" and Elijah!" So Elijah did come again! Would he stay and show himself to others, or was this a privilege reserved to just John and James and the Rock?

Then John realized that what they were talking about was what was to happen to him in Jerusalem! They seemed to think that Jesus would not in fact be able to convince people that he was the Son of God, equal to the Father and the same as the Father, even if he finally appeared to everyone as he now appeared. Jesus mentioned that he would have to show his power at the end, but did not wish to do so in such a way that it would take away their freedom; and they discussed how he could do this, and what that meant for his success.

But it was all so overpowering that John could not make head or tail of it. He simply stared in awe, and the words washed over his head like waves, and like waves, made no real impression on him.

Simon suddenly blurted, "Master, it is a good thing we are here! If you wish, I can build three huts here, one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah!" He too was babbling, barely making any sense at all--and as he spoke a luminous cloud covered them, and they quaked in terror, convinced that because of this profanity they were sure to die.

But the cloud simply spoke: "This is my Son, the one I love, who pleases me greatly. Listen to him."

They all fell on their faces with terror.

Shortly afterward, they felt Jesus touch them and say, "Stand up; fear not," and the Jesus they were familiar with was before them again, and no one else. But of course, they knew that the Jesus they were familiar with was really the resplendent Jesus who had driven them almost senseless with awe; he could never be just Jesus again to them. It was far more of a contrast for John than that of Jesus the carpenter and Jesus the miracle-worker.

They descended the mountain in silence, until Jesus said, "Do not tell anyone of what you saw until the Son of Man comes back from death." What did that mean? What could that mean? God grant that it was not what it sounded like!

John, instead of asking Jesus about this--he did not dare--asked instead, "Why do the Scripture scholars say that Elijah must precede you?" thinking that he was going to answer that it had just happened, but he said, "Yes, Elijah is coming, and will restore everything," and then he stroked his beard, and said, "but the fact is that Elijah has already come, and they did what they pleased to him. And the Son of Man will suffer the same sort of thing at their hands."

John and James, as it happened, were walking a little behind Jesus, and James whispered, "Who was he speaking of? John, the one who bathed the people?"

"I would guess that is what it was," answered John, also in a whisper. "Who else could it be?"

"If he means what he sounds as if he means."

"If," answered John. "I understand nothing whatever!"

And they all lapsed into silence, pondering, or just feeling the effect of the dumbfounding experience they had had. John at one point wondered, "Why we three?" thinking that it was not really that they were special friends of Jesus, but people that needed special attention. Were they each to undergo some horrible test that required this reassurance to make it possible for them to endure it? He quaked in dread.

When they reached the others at the bottom, there was suddenly a great silence as Jesus came up. "What is it you are busying yourselves with?" he asked.

A man answered, "Rabbi, I brought you my son, who has a demon that will not let him speak; and when it gets inside him, it tears him apart, and he foams at the mouth and grinds his teeth, and goes rigid. I asked your students if they would drive it out, and they were not strong enough!" He gave a look at Nathanael, who obviously was the one "not strong enough," and looked as if he wanted to melt into the ground.

"This faithless race!" exclaimed Jesus. Nathanael cowered. "How long will I be among you? How long will I put up with you? Bring him to me!" Had Nathanael encountered an insolent spirit, and doubted?

The father pulled the boy over, and he fell into convulsions, writhing on the ground. Jesus looked at him. "How long has he been this way?" he asked the father.

"From the time he was little!" he said. "And it often throws him into the fire, and into water to kill him! But if it is possible, please help us! Have pity on us!"

"If it is possible!" exclaimed Jesus. "Everything is possible to a believer."

"Master I believe!" cried the man. "Please help my unbelief!"

Jesus, noticing that the crowd was gathering round them, said in a calm voice, "Deaf and dumb spirit, I command you to go out of him." And the boy suddenly gave out a roar, and fell over as if dead. Jesus then took his hand, and he stood up, and he gave him to his father.

John felt how apt the father's plea was. He himself believed and, in spite of what he had just seen, did not believe. It was too fantastic, too impossible to be true. But how could one see what he had seen and not believe? He was astounded to find how easy it was.

Finally, Simon the Revolutionary asked, "Why could we not drive it out?"

"Because you did not believe strongly enough," answered Jesus. "Besides, that kind can only go out through fasting and prayer."

John had not been fasting enough, certainly. He had not been fasting at all. The Master had once said, "Can the friends of the groom fast while the bridegroom is with them?" and then, John remembered, he said, "The time will come when he will be taken away" Taken away! "And then they will fast." He had not noticed that until now!

He looked over at poor Nathanael, who also had problems in that direction--as, he imagined, did everyone else. How could what had happened have been real?

Of course, as soon as things calmed down a bit, the others wanted to know what had gone on on the mountain, since from the demeanor of the three who were up there, they were still in shock.

"We are not to speak of it," said the Rock. "At least, not until . . . something happens which I do not understand." He looked over at Jesus with awe and a kind of terror in his eyes. They all looked at Jesus with new eyes, convinced that he had revealed his true self, and all but killed the three with the revelation.

They walked along, by themselves for a change, since the crowds realized they had gone to Judea and were not expecting them back as yet. On the way, they paused, and Jesus, who was acting as if nothing had happened on the mountain, told them, "Attend carefully to this: The Son of Man is going to be surrendered into human hands, and they will kill him; and on the third day after that, he will return to life."

A second time. And on the mountain, he had spoken of coming back from death. He was going to be killed, and he had all but told John and the other two that he was going to let it happen!

But he would return to life. He would! he had to!

John heard Ezra say to Thomas, "Does it not remind you of something?"

"Not offhand. What?" Thomas, like the rest of them, was too upset to remember much of anything.

"'Destroy this temple and in three days I will rebuild it."

A light dawned. "Of a certainty! So you think he is referring to actually being killed and returning to life 'on the third day,' as he says here."

"It sounds very much like it."

"Ezra, what will I do? What will we all do?"

"Trust, I suppose." He shook his head and went away. As did Thomas. But how hard it was, thought John! And could one imagine what the interval between the death and the third day would be like? Would John be able to survive it?

John noticed that Matthew was searching for someone to ask what the meaning of all this was. He apparently picked Thomas, and they had an extended conversation, in which John heard the name Judas, and finally Matthew blurted, "A delusion! If there ever was anyone who did not suffer from delusions, it is the Master!"

"You must question Judas about it. He has a whole theory worked out--which I confess I do not subscribe to." John was glad. He was certain that Matthew was right in what he said. No, Jesus meant it seriously, and what happened on the mountain, if it were a delusion, it was a delusion on their part, not his. And he had predicted his death--and return to life! And return to life!--twice and almost three times. He was preparing them. He would fail in establishing the Kingdom Isaiah spoke of--or we would fail, which would amount to the same thing.

But how could he fail, if he was what John had seen on the mountain? But even there, he and the ones he was talking to seemed to think that in Jerusalem, he would "depart."

A frantic Nathanael suddenly came up, obviously looking for someone to talk to. "Do you have any idea about what this means? About being killed, I mean.

John answered, "I understand nothing of it! I hope and hope that it is some kind of figure of speech, but if it is, I cannot imagine what it means. I know not, Nathanael."

"And--I know that you cannot speak of what happened on the mountain, but did that help in this?"

"Not at all. If anything, it made it very unlikely. But I cannot say that it made it impossible! I know nothing! Nothing!"

The next day, they crossed the "sea" for some reason, this time all of them in Simon Rock's boat, which his father lent him for the day; it was large enough so that all twelve of them fit comfortably on benches on the sides (the center was for practical purposes empty for the casks that held the fish they had caught in water until they reached the shore). Jesus sat on the bench in the stern, which had a cushion on it, making it a kind of couch, and then, saying he would take a bit of a rest, lay down and fell asleep, his head near Nathanael, who was on the side toward the stern. John and James were at the oars, and John was on the side looking at Nathanael, and was rather amused to see him gripping the gunwale with white knuckles. Obviously, Nathanael was not a paragon of fearlessness.

They looked up at the sky, which suddenly began to darken, as was apt to happen in that time of year; and then the rain came and the lightning, and the wind blew a ferocious gale, and the boat rocked fiercely. It did not bother John, who had often been in a boat in worse weather, but it terrified Nathanael, who now held on to the gunwale at the side and the stern, praying that Jesus would waken and steady the boat somehow. But he slept on.

Finally, water began slopping over the sides, and two of the men who were not rowing began bailing. It seemed to be getting worse and worse, and Jesus slept on.

Nathanael could bear it no longer, and in panic, he cried out to Jesus, "Master, does it not bother you that we are going to drown?"

Jesus woke, looked out at the storm, and said, "Be quiet! Calm yourself!"

And suddenly, the wind dropped and all was still.

He looked at Nathanael, and with a mock-stern voice, but a smile on his face, said, "Why did you doubt, you people who have so little faith?"

"What sort of a man is this?" said James to John, who was beside him at the oars, as they looked up at the blue sky. "Even the wind and the sea obey him!"

Confirmation of what they had seen on the mountain. --And then, for further confirmation, on the shore they were confronted with another madman, this one naked, full of cuts and scrapes, with fetters and chains that he had broken. He ran up screaming in that demonic voice, "What do you want with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I beg you, do not torture me!"

"What is your name?" said Jesus.

"Legion. There are many of us. Please, please do not send us away into the abyss!"

John saw Nathanael cower to the back of the group, and secretly despised him. Jesus just stood there calmly as the demons pleaded and begged for mercy. He was looking around.

His eyes lighted on a herd of hogs grazing next to a nearby cliff overlooking the lake. The man saw where he was looking, and the demon inside him pleaded, "Please! Send us into the pigs! Let us enter them!"

"You may go," said Jesus and with a roar, they left and the hogs suddenly went wild. The whole herd rushed around for a moment, and then threw itself over the cliff into the water and drowned.

Everyone looked on in shock, not least the man out of whom they had gone. Multiple demons could be in a person! The swineherds, who of course were Gentiles, looked over the cliff at the destruction, and ran off. Jesus, meanwhile, asked if someone had an extra cloak and tunic, and covered the naked man, with whom he began a one-sided conversation. It was clear that the man, though no longer insane, was so terrified at what had happened that he could not speak more than a word or two. Jesus was trying to reassure him. Then, when the townsfolk came up, they cried, "Leave us! Leave us! Have mercy!" looking on the madman with fear.

"Master, will you leave?" he said. "May I go with you?"

"No, my friend. Go back to your home, and explain to everyone what God has done for you." And Jesus and his companions got back into the boat, crossing over to Capernaum. Jesus looked at Nathanael smiled an amused smile.

John, it must be confessed, was shaken at this last encounter. They were obviously not playing games with these demons; even though Jesus was in complete control, they were an immense destructive force. John hoped fervently that they could not enter anyone unless the person allowed it somehow, and he hoped in that case that he would never give permission. Perhaps Nathanael was right to be timid before them. Still, it was not the most manly of all attitudes.

Yet who was John to brag of being manly?

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