Twenty-Three

That night Jesus excused himself from the group and went up to pray on a mountain overlooking the "Sea" of Galilee from the north. The others, Matthew now among them, stayed back halfway up (because on these occasions Jesus wished for privacy), on a kind of saddle that was still rather high. David, interestingly, slept beside Matthew that night, saying practically nothing, as was his wont. Ezra of course observed this, and later John asked about it.

"There is something there," he answered. "I would have said originally that it was deep hatred, based on the way he looked at him at first."

"I saw that look, if you mean when he woke from the dead."

"That was it. But now he only seems puzzled. Though he appears to be waiting for something. Some false step on Matthew's part, giving him an excuse for--killing him, perhaps?"

"Killing him?"

"He looked murderous. But he now seems to need to be provoked into it. If I were Matthew, I would be very careful what I did in David's presence. I myself am going to cultivate him, to see what I can learn."

"Ezra the spy."

"Let us say, Ezra the observer."

The following morning, shortly after dawn, Jesus came down from the heights, looking refreshed He called over a small group of twelve, Matthew finding to his surprise that he was one of them (though John could have predicted it), and told them that if they were willing, they were to be his emissaries to the various towns of the area.

"Aha!" thought John. "He is going to multiply himself in us! He sees he does not have much reach by himself, in spite of the fact that people are flocking to him. Look at the crowd!"

"It is time," Jesus in fact was saying, "for the good news about the reign of God to spread more rapidly than I can manage by myself. You will represent me, not only by announcing what you have basically heard me say, but also by confirming by signs similar to mine that the world is indeed about to undergo a change. I will begin to spell out rather more explicitly what the reign of God will be like; you will see. I will give you instructions later on about what you are to do."

A number of people of the area knew where the group was, and as was their custom, they began to gather round on the saddle of the hill, bringing their sick and crippled for him to cure--which he did, spending the morning at it.

Around noon, he went back up the mountain a short way, with by now quite a throng of people on the saddle below him, in a kind of natural amphitheater. He stood up and held up his hands to catch their attention and said,

"You have asked about the reign of God and how you are to change your way of thinking. Attend, then: It is a blessing for you to be poor, because then you have God for your king;

"To be poor?" said those around John. "I am poor, and it is anything but a blessing!" "Silence! We cannot hear!""

"--hungry now, because then you will have your fill. It is a blessing for you to suffer now, because you will find happiness. It is a blessing for you when people hate you and drive you away, and ostracize you; on the day this happens, leap about for joy, because you have a great reward in heaven; your enemies ancestors did the same to the prophets.

"This is insane!" "It is mad!" "He has a devil!"Then how can he cure everyone?" "Be quiet!"

"--comfort here now; it is a curse to be full now, because then you will be hungry; it is a curse that you enjoy life now, because then you will suffer; and it is a curse to have everyone speak well of you, because their ancestors praised the false prophets in the same way." He paused to let what he had said sink in.

What could he possibly mean? thought John, his musings drowning out the grumbling of the crowd, which was now quite loud. How could it be a blessing to suffer what everyone regarded as a curse? Poverty, hunger, suffering, and hatred? And a curse to be rich, full, enjoying life, and being loved?

Now.

Because things would be turned upside down when the Jesus became king? Was he saying that the poor would have everything they lacked, and so would the hungry--would we even need to eat?--and there would be no disease or other suffering? And so the sorrows of this life would be drowned, so to speak, in joy? And those who rejected the kingdom, the present rich, who enjoyed life just as it was, would find themselves outside, with nothing?

What that meant was, "Accept me as your king, and I promise you heaven on earth. Reject me, and I promise you hell on earth." A stark choice, to say the least, if that was what he was saying.

The people were gasping with astonishment. What could he mean? How could it be a blessing to suffer and a curse to enjoy life? Someone near John said, "Then we should cause people to be poor and hungry, and do them a favor? It makes no sense!"

Jesus went on, "You heard it said, 'an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth'; but I tell those of you who can hear it, love your enemies and do good to the ones who hate you; pray for those who threaten you. If someone slaps your cheek, turn the other one for him to slap; if he takes your cloak, give him your tunic as well. Give to everyone who asks, and if someone takes what is yours, do not demand it back. In short, do to everyone else what you would have them do to you."

"This is even worse!" said the man who spoke earlier. John wondered, Did this fit in? Well, if the kingdom that was about to start were a transformation of the world, what did it matter if one for the short time that was left would suffer indignities? Was this what the "change of the way of thinking" was all about?

Others said, "This is not an explanation of the Law; it is something he has made up." "Who does he think he is? Another Moses?"said another. The listeners began a lively--and loud--discussion among themselves at how Jesus was apparently teaching them on his own authority, and not like the Scripture scholars. Some scoffed at it, but others said, "But I repeat: If he does not have God behind him, how can he do what he does? You saw that man simply get up and walk when he merely touched him!"

Jesus was pausing for them to get some of their reactions out of their system. He went on, "Do not think that I have come to do away with the Law and the prophets; I have come to fulfill them, not abolish them. I tell you this: as long as heaven and earth last, not the dot on one i or the cross on one t will be removed from the Law--not until everything is all over. And so if any man sets aside the least command in the Law, he will have the lowest place when God begins his reign, and anyone who keeps the Law and teaches others to do so will rank high God's kingdom. In fact, unless you show that you are better than the Pharisees and Scripture scholars, you will not even enter God's kingdom."

"I am not too certain that I wish to be in such a kingdom," said a man. "We have burdens enough already." But Jesus kept on, "And do not be evaluating others' conduct, or your own conduct will be evaluated. Forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and things will be given to you--good measure, tamped down, and overflowing will be poured into your pocket; because the standard you use for measuring others will be the standard you are measured by.

"That, at least makes sense," said one. "Treat everyone fairly." "Yes," said another, "but then why not slap the person who has slapped you? That is what is fair to my way of thinking, as well as the other." "It is not the same thing," said the first. "I see no difference," was the answer.

"Can the blind be guides for the blind? Will they not both fall into the ditch? A student is not above his teacher; at best, when a student finishes, he will be equal to his teacher."

"I am not certain," said one, "that I wish to be a student of this teacher. 'Turn your other cheek to be slapped' indeed! Not my cheek. My fist, perhaps!"

"How is it you can see a speck in your brother's eye and not notice the board in your own? You fraud; take the board out of your own eye before you presume to take the speck from your brother's."

"And you do the same," shouted someone. "Are you perfect? Who do you think you are?"

If they only knew, thought John. They look on him as a magician, and are indignant that he actually has something to say to them. The board in their eye is huge!

Jesus was going on, though the crowd was becoming louder and louder; interestingly, though, his voice rose above it. "--call me 'Master! Master!' and not do what I say? I will tell you what a person who comes to me and listens to what I say and puts it into practice is like: he is like a man who was building a house, and dug deep and laid its foundation on bedrock; and when the flood came, the river burst on that house, and it withstood it, because it was built on rock. But the one who hears me and does not act on it is like a man building his house on sand. The river rose, and the house collapsed into a heap of rubble."

John's head was reeling after this; there was enough there for years of meditation and study. He hoped his memory was good enough for him to retain most of it--and then he happened to notice Matthew, frantically finishing notes that he was taking on pieces of papyrus. Well, he knew where to go if he needed a record of what happened.

Bartholomew, who seemed as bemused as John was, came up to him, as if seeking advice. John was flattered that he would consult someone so young when he finished his introduction with "And so what is your opinion of all this?"

"I am anything but certain," John answered. "I had been assuming that the Reign of God would involve restoring everything to the condition it was in before Adam's sin, where everything cooperated with everything else and there was no evil."

"Something along those lines had occurred to me also," answered Nathanael. "It sounds fantastic, but then, we have seen so many fantastic things--sins forgiven, diseases healed by a touch--by a mere word!--and even the dead raised--that who knows?"

"Exactly. Well, if that is what it is all about, then perhaps it is a blessing to be poor now, because then you would realize that the Reign of God is your only hope, do you see?"

"Ah. And it would be a curse to be rich, because then you might lose your power over others. That makes sense. And the same would go for suffering or for the other apparent curses,"

"--because they would make you look forward to the Reign of God and not wed you to the life you were living. It would be easy to change your way of thinking."

"All right. But why let someone slap you a second time? Why give him your tunic if he steals your mantle?"

John thought a bit. "It could be the same sort of thing, could it not? I have not thought it through as yet, but could it not be that it would be part of not caring what happened to you now, knowing that in the Reign of God you would not have any suffering?"

"In other words, nothing makes any difference now, because it will all turn out well soon, so why fret over injustice? It will not count in the long run."

"I must say I find that hard to swallow, but it sounds as if this is what he was saying."

"I am inclined to agree. I suppose my thinking has not changed all that much."

"Nor mine," said John. If someone slaps me, he would have a bloody nose before I could even think of turning the other cheek!"

"Still, there is a point there, if you think on it dispassionately. If he slaps you, how have you undone the slap by doing damage to him? You have just compounded the evil." John pondered a bit. "On the other hand, inviting him to slap you again compounds it also."

"There is something we are missing," mused Nathanael. "Perhaps it has something to do with not paying attention to yourself."

"You mean, letting the other person have the satisfaction of pummeling you? I do not see it."

"Well, he in effect said it."

"Yes, but how does his continuing in evil benefit him? So if I care for him, why should I let him do a greater evil than he has done? So even if I care not for myself, because in the Reign of God all will be happiness, should I not care that he cease his evil ways? Should I not put a stop to them with my fist?"

Nathanael laughed. "I suppose if you could do it with a heart full of nothing but love for him, hoping that he too would enter the Reign of God with you, where you would embrace each other, then Jesus would approve. The question is whether anyone could ever manage such a thing."

"Well, I fondly hope I will never get into a situation where I will have the problem."

"What I hope is that some day we will begin to understand what this is all about."

"True, we have a long way to go."

"And if we do, imagine what it will be like for all the rest of the people that we will be trying to prepare for the Reign of God!"

"Yes, that will be an adventure! Sent out as heralds to announce something we have only the foggiest idea about."

"It fills me with terror."

"And not only you, Bartholomew, believe me." And with that they parted, each pondering not only what they had been talking about, but what else Jesus had said.

Jesus in the next few days began giving them instructions on how to behave as his "emissaries," and what to do if people rejected their preaching. John was hardly surprised to find that he was to be paired with James. But it seemed that they also were to have the miraculous powers--at least some of them--that Jesus had, and this was a terrifying prospect. Could John actually confront a man with a demon and drive him out? And if he did come out, would he enter John? Jesus, of course, told them to trust him and have no fear.

Easily said.

Shortly afterwards, they began their mission, haltingly explaining to people that God was about to begin his reign, and that this would involve a new way of thinking, and to show that life would be different, they cured diseases themselves "in the name of Jesus of Nazareth."

John once even did confront a madman, and when he ordered the devil to leave him, the man said, "John, is it? We know a few things about you, my friend. Shall I tell the people?"

John shook with terror, as James looked curiously at him. Dear God, if James found out! "Silence! In the name of Jesus of Nazareth! Hold your tongue and leave that man!" His voice, fortunately, sounded confident enough, though he thought his heart would burst through his chest. The man screamed and fell on the ground, unconscious. James went over to him, put his hand on him, and he rose, in his right mind, with no recollection of what he had said.

"What was that all about?" asked James later, and John answered, "We must be prepared for such things; Satan is the father of lies, after all." This was insurance, of course, in case someone else should reveal John's secret.

"True," said James. "It was very acute of you to think it. I suppose we all have secrets that would sound very bad if they were revealed, however innocent they may be in themselves. But the name of Jesus can silence them, apparently."

It sounded as if James himself had something he did not want to have made public, which startled John a bit--but then, James thought he knew all about John, and yet gave no hint that he suspected John's attraction to men, especially since John was in so many respect so very masculine. And if John's theory about the followers Jesus chose was correct, it meant that James had his own problems which required Jesus's nearness. He wondered what they were--if there were any; it was but a theory after all. But then, it was none of his business; leave him to Jesus.

At evening, they would return to the group, and report what they had done and said, receiving Jesus' commendation, and advice how to deal with this or that difficulty some of them encountered. When James reported about the demon, Jesus said that everything was handled very well--"as I would have expected." John glowed with relief.

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