Twelve

The next day, they set out for Galilee, and when they arrived, John embraced his parents, who were overjoyed to have him back; and then he read the letters he had to Zebedee and gave them to him. Zebedee drew in his breath a bit when he heard the cost of tuition, but John told him, "Fear not. It is very unlikely that I will be going back."

"Indeed?" Zebedee put his hands on John's shoulders and looked intently into his eyes. "You found it--less than satisfactory, then? Because Annas said he would be willing to accept you."

"It is a very nice place, and I think I could succeed there; but it is, I am afraid, not for me."

"Then we will have you as one of our crew! I was hoping this would happen!"

"Well, as to that, something has come up." John did not know quite how to continue.

"Another complication! What is it this time?"

"What if I were to tell you that I--that Andrew and Simon and I--have discovered the Messiah, the Prince who was prophesied?"

"If you were to tell me that, I would answer that you are mad."

"Even if I told you that he can read my thoughts?"

"Especially if you told me he could read your thoughts! Mountebanks have existed from the beginning of time, John, and they can be very clever and very convincing. You are young, but--you say that he has befuddled Simon and Andrew also?"

"I would not say 'befuddled.'"

"Of course you would not."

"Well, suppose I told you that when John--the one who was bathing the people--bathed him, I actually saw the sky open up, right there by the Jordan, and a thunderclap said, 'This is my beloved Son; listen to him.' And Andrew and Simon saw it also and heard the thunder, except that Simon did not hear the words."

"No doubt. Simon has some sense."

"But Simon is as convinced as the two of us. The whole thing was uncanny."

"And just who is this 'son of thunder'?"

"You will not believe this; it is Jesus of Nazareth."

"The carpenter? The carpenter? The one who built that boat out there?"

"The very same one."

"John, how could you? You know him! He seemed to be a very nice man, but--but really, John! The Son of--of a thunderclap! You know that he is the son of Mary and Joseph!"

John was silent.

"How much money did he want?" asked Zebedee.

"Money?"

"I never would have thought it of him, but why else would he try to recruit you for some mad enterprise?"

"He wants no money."

"Oh, no, of course not! So he has not mentioned it as yet."

"Father, it is not as you think."

"No, son, it is not as you think. When something like this comes up, there is always money behind it, either now or in the future. You will see. He will have to 'finance' this or that; and at first it will be small sums, but it will grow and grow, and you will be stuck in the mud of some scheme which will be the ruin of you. I would think that Andrew and above all Simon would have seen through it from the start!"

John saw that nothing was to be gained by pursuing the subject, and--to be sure, a bit shaken by what he had just been told--he reminded his father that he had agreed that he would spend a month deciding what to do with his life, "and I will give what you say very careful consideration," he said, "and will discuss it with James, who was not there, as well as with Simon and Andrew."

"You realize that if you and Simon and Andrew--and possibly James also--go off on this campaign of the mythical Prince, I will not have a crew to man my fishing boats? Except the hired hands, and I suppose Simon's and Andrew's hired hands? What did they go to Judea for, if the whole business was to break up before it really started?"

"I am sure that we will have to take all this into account also."

"You had better take it into account, if you want to eat--and if you do not wish your mother and father to starve also!"

"I--we will find a way, if we decide to follow Jesus. You will have to talk to him yourself, of course; you will see that he is not as you think."

"I must say that I cannot imagine him to be as I think. But the prophesied Prince! That is--preposterous!"

John's face grew red with anger. "Why preposterous? The Prince must come at some time, and someone must be the Prince! Why not now, and why not Jesus?"

"He has certainly become persuasive!" John was about to make another hot reply, and remembered what Mary had said. What would it accomplish?

"Father," he said, trying to contain himself, "we have a whole month. And he himself said that he has something to do for a month or more, before he will come to Galilee. Let us wait."

"Very well, we will say no more about it for now. John. I have no desire to anger you. You know I love you and wish only the best for you, and the last thing I would wish for you is for you to be deluded into following a--to put it bluntly, a fraud."

John took a deep breath. "And that would be the last thing I would desire, also. So let us agree on that."

"Very well." And Zebedee walked away, shaking his head.

John did not know what to think. His father was a very wise man, and John knew how easy it was to become persuaded by a clever talker. There were those in the school he was in, Daniel not the least of them, and Adam; but this was different, somehow. Jesus, as he remembered his conversation, did no "persuading." The thunder spoke, and he mentioned it, and simply asked if they were interested in changing the world. He did not try to make it sound attractive. Indeed, he told John that he would have great struggles his whole life long. But on the other hand, would not that be just the kind of thing to attract an eager youngster who had recently become fed up with plodding analytical studies? The whole thing looked like the sheets of a bed after one had spent the night in a nightmare.

The atmosphere in the house in the days that followed was rather wintry. John's father was allowing him time to think, but was very clear about the fact that he was allowing him this time--when he and James were not fishing, of course--to consider matters very carefully indeed. He was friendly enough, but he breathed an air of insistency.

John waited for quite a while before he brought the matter up with James. His father's skepticism has warned him not to try to "recruit" James for Jesus, and so he merely made laconic remarks from time to time, trying not to influence him one way or the other. But when the month was all but over he thought he should let James know what had happened, in as detached and factual a way as possible, so that if James also wanted to join Jesus, he would have the evidence John had.

They were rowing out to the fishing area, and were far enough away to be in a position to speak to each other without frightening the fish. John, who was rowing, was of course talking toward the stern, and James stood just behind him, before he took up his position in the bow. As John finished his description of what happened, James seemed intrigued, and asked, "You do not think you were deluded, somehow?" and John answered, "I cannot see how. He did not act as if he wanted anything from us, least of all money, as Father fears, but that he thought it would help us. He did give me a good deal of advice about my personal life that I found very useful."

"And what was that?"

"Well . . . I think I would prefer not to speak of it."

"Even to me?"

"If you do not mind. It is something that happened in the school, a situation I was a bit nervous about, but he told me I handled it very well--and the interesting thing is that he seemed to know all about it even before I told him. He even mentioned that it had been arranged, somehow, the whole school business, as a way for me to test myself and my ambitions. And I did learn there that that kind of life is not for me, however attractive it may be in many ways."

"And this is the person we knew as merely a carpenter."

"Well, James, even then, did you think that he was merely a carpenter?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you remember how he handled the wood, and seemed to talk to it?"

"Now that you mention it. It was as if he were friends with it, or something."

"Well, he showed us something more of that side of his life there in Judea. It was--it was almost frightening. It was very frightening. Especially after the thunder. You have no idea. I thought I knew him, and I found--it was like looking into what seemed to be a shallow lake and finding that the bottom was nowhere near where you thought it was, because the water was much clearer than you supposed."

"You mean when we went for a swim in that abandoned marble quarry that had filled up with rain water? I remember trying to step the next step down, which seemed just below where I was standing, and was suddenly far over my head."

"Well, as I listened to him, I was so far over my head that I could not see the bottom at all! And it was dark down there, even though the water was clear as--clear as the air. But you got the impression that he could see all the way down."

"He sounds like a fascinating person, to say the least."

"He said that he is gradually going to take off what he called his 'disguise,' and show more and more what he really is; and if he is what John and the thunder called him, it means that he is somehow the Son of God--even though he insists that he is just as truly the son of man--it is a total muddle! And he told me personally that what he was was what he would only very much later reveal himself to be: that spiritually, whatever that meant, he and the Father, by which I assume he meant the one whose name we never say, that he and the Father were one and the same thing. He said I needed to know it early."

"You realize that it makes no sense, do you not?"

"When the thunder itself as much as says so also?"

"You are sure that it talked?"

"As sure as that a dove came out of what I guess you would call a hole in the sky and lighted on his shoulder. I could be mistaken, I suppose, but then Andrew also heard it, and Simon said that the thunder sounded 'meaningful,' though he heard no words. And they were not exactly words, I will admit. You would have to have been there. But I heard it, and I knew perfectly what it was saying."

"It is all very mysterious."

"And then he knew all about what I had been doing, and even what I had been thinking. And he explained how it had all been 'arranged,' and when he said it at least, it all made sense. He said he and the Father controlled things without controlling them, or forcing our choices. I confess I was completely lost there."

"Well, I assume I will speak to him myself when he comes. I will try to keep an open mind. I have serious doubts, I must tell you."

"As would I have, if someone told me. I understand Father's position perfectly. But if Jesus is really what he says he is, he knows all about this--especially about Father's opposition, and he has some 'plan' that will make him willing to give us and Simon and Andrew up."

"Now that would be a miracle! If he can do that, I will have no problem following him!"

Suddenly, John shipped the oars, and said, "James, I have been thinking. Why do you not let me cast the net once or twice? I have not done so for a long time, and I would like to make a cast or two lest I completely forget it. Who knows? It may be the last time I get to throw out a net."

James thought about it. "Well, why not? It may be the last time for both of us--though, frankly, I doubt it. I doubt it in either case. But I would not mind rowing, since there is such a short distance to go. Let us switch." So John climbed upon the seat and then back to where James had been, as he passed him and sat down and adjusted the oars to his satisfaction.

They started off, a bit awkwardly for the first two or three strokes until James found the rhythm, and then as smoothly as ever, and in no time were at the fishing grounds.

John made attempts to cast the net--and realized that it was not like rowing; it took constant practice. The only thing he succeeded in doing, in fact, was making a hopeless tangle of it, and finally, in a fury, he pulled it back into the boat, and said to James, "We must go back! I have made such a mess of the net that it is totally useless! Look at it!" He almost shouted, because there was no problem scaring the fish, because there was nothing to catch them with.

James looked back, and had a hard time keeping from laughing, looking at what John had done and the expression of rage at himself for doing it. "I think you are right," he managed to say in as matter-of-fact a tone as he could manage.

"Perhaps we can get an hour or two in if we can straighten it out." He turned the boat about and pulled strongly for the shore.

When he got there, he shipped the oars and they beached the boat, and he rubbed his shoulders, saying, "It seems as if I am not as in practice in rowing as I was either," and let out a little groan, doubtless hoping that that would assuage John's conscience a bit. "Now, let us see what can be done with that net."

The two of them sat there in the boat and took the net, trying to straighten it out, John still fuming with anger at his ineptness. After spending a good deal of time in a futile attempt to make something of it, in frustration he took out his knife and cut several of the strands that had become hopelessly, as it seemed to him, entwined.

"John! John!" cried James, seeing that he was making matters worse, and that he was entering one of his tantrums. John had not done this for two or three years now, but James rushed over behind him and grasped him, pinning his arms.

And there they were, sitting there, amid the tangles of the net, with John on the rowing-bench of the boat, and James behind him holding him, when Jesus walked up. He looked over at them, and laughed. "Come," he said. "Follow me."

They both looked up with chagrin. He said, "We must go to see your father. Andrew told me there has been an accident."

"An accident! Is he hurt?" said the two of them together.

"I am afraid so, rather badly. Very badly, in fact. He slipped on the road, and a fully-loaded cart rolled right over him. Simon says he thinks both legs are broken. He cannot walk, he said."

"Is he home? Did they get him home?"

"So I was told. Let us go to him. Your mother must be worried. Simon said that he looked as if he might die."

"Die!" they cried.

"Fear not. All will be well. But let us go."

They were already going, in fact, all three of them practically running. It was only a few moments before they arrived at the house, and John burst the door open. "Is he all right?"

"Oh, John!" cried his mother. "James! He is--at least he is conscious, but he is in such pain! Come see!"

"Father! Father!" they cried and rushed into the room, Jesus right behind them.

Zebedee let out a groan that ended in a scream, and then gritted his teeth. "It--I think both legs are--and in many places. We have called for the doctor, but--It hurts so! It hurts so! It was a--a cart full of hay! Oh!" and he gritted his teeth again, and all but screamed once more.

Jesus had gone up to him by this time and touched his legs--and suddenly, there was nothing wrong with them.

"What happened?" he cried. "The pain is gone! It almost feels as if I could walk!"

"Try," said Jesus. "I will help you up." He put his hand under his shoulder and lifted him to a sitting position, and Zebedee swung his perfectly healed legs over the edge of the bed, and stood up. "I cannot believe it!"

"I would not tell this to anyone, if you please; it is not yet my time," said Jesus. "You may say that you had a narrow escape from something that looked at first to be very serious--which is certainly true."

"You did this!"

"As I say, I would really prefer that this not be known."

"How did you do it? How could you have done it?"

"Well, I am aware that John has told you a bit about me--"

"You mean that what he told me was actually true?"

"Come, now, Zebedee; you know your son is not a liar."

"But--but he was spouting some nonsense about the sky opening up and a voice from heaven, and you being able to read his thoughts, and--and I know not what!"

"As I say, he is not a liar."

"Those things actually happened?"

"John was not the only one who saw them. Andrew and Simon did also--and that was before I had a chance to speak to them and 'befuddle' them, as you said. I waited two days, in fact, before I spoke to them."

"And now you have made my legs whole by simply touching them! It is beyond belief!"

"A great deal that is beyond belief is going to happen in the near future. And not simply by me, but by your two sons and Andrew and Simon, and Philip--you know, the wine-merchant's son, the one who helped carry you here--and some others you know. I have been sent to restore the world to what it lost when Adam disobeyed. And ordinary people will help me and do things that no one since Elijah has been able to do. You will see."

"I cannot take this in! It is too much!"

"Your son felt thus--he still does. I realize that it is a bit overwhelming. But what I am telling you is true, and I am afraid it was necessary that something drastic happen in order for you to be persuaded. I am sorry for the pain and inconvenience, but it did not last long, and you will come to see that it was necessary."

Zebedee stood there gaping at him, unable to say a word.

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